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[11 Mar 2005|07:47pm]
LOVE. A word that cant be described. They say that G-D LIFE AND LOVE are the biggest mysteries in the world and they're right. People use to tell me I felt Love and I laughed. How do u know how LOVE feels? They said.. you'll know when it comes. You know I never believed them until I felt something that i couldnt describe and yet.. i cant find the words to say how it feels. Its a rush everywhere. Its a shiver and a passion and it makes you want to get up and shout when everyone is quiet. Its the feeling when you wanna sit in the corner and think about ti when everyone is having a good time at a party. Its the feeling of unbelievable bliss and happiness and the feeling of no gravity. It feels like the ride on a roller coaster(the part when youre about to go down and your heart drops). Its the smell of jachnoon on Saturday morning and its the sound of shlomo artze playing when you wake up on that saturday. Its the view of your parents laughing together for the first time in 5 years. Its the feeling of your first breathe of life and your last. Even trying to wrtie down what it feels like doesnt compare to the actual feeling. So the answer is love is undefinable and that how i knew i felt LOVE. I COULDN'T DESCRIBE IT. I just figured that out after 4 days of being alone.
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[06 Feb 2005|08:02pm]

WOOOOOOW. SOOO MUCH DRAMAAAAAA.. OOOOOF IM SO SICK OFF THIS SHIT. EVERYONE IS SOOOOOO RETARDED. I WISH U GUYS COULD JUST GOOOOOOO AWAY. EVERYONE. I DONT TRUST ANYONE. I FEEL SO HURT AND ANNOYED.... I CANT DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE. RETARDED. EVERYONE IS IMMATURE AND THE WORST THING IS U GUYS DONT EVEN SEE HOW IMMATURE U ARE. TWO WORDS... FUCK YOU. BI.RETARDS.

 p.s.three good people. m.k.s.

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[29 Jan 2005|11:43pm]
WOW. today was like woah.i dont know the answers anymore..A couple of months ago I had the answers for everyone but now..I only have questions and I cant handle it. Shachar asked me today.. "why do u hang out with us.. i mean explain it to me..." and hes right I mean when I look at it hes completely right..I dont know who I am anymore.. I feel as if everything is changing.. Michael and Greg(their posy) were MY BEST FRENDS all my life and all of a sudden im moving toward a group that doesnt even match with them.. I mean I had my group that I <3 SOO MUCH!(kaitlin, Krista, Tamy, Jennifer, Sable, Taylor and so many more..)but now I mean im being with other people like.. the danielles, tal ariel, shachar, dveer, roy, ido and I CANT HANDLE THIS. I dont know wat i want.I wish everyhting I was and did would just disappear. I mean I go out with the Israelies and I get in a fight with a 13 year old.. Thats were my skills from michael come.. and then I talk to michael on the fone and i say peace out and BYE and thats were the Israelie part comes from.. and I go to the mall with any of my frends and I automaticaaly run to Abercrombie and Hollister and thats were my blnde side comes and I mean there is no Maya part anymore.. IM A NOBODY NOW. then i go chilling with my israelie frends and I tell them personal things when some of it is bullshit cuzz I cant feel sure tot ell them anything but then when im with Michael I cant even tell him anything and Ive known him almost all my life.. I just feel like I have NOBODY. i JUST WANNA BE MYSELFFF AND I CANT BE ANYMORE. the only thing that I HAVE LEFT OF THE REAL MAYA.. IS THE FACT THAT I LOVE SOME OF MY FRENDS SO MUCH AND I CARE FOR THEM SOO MUCH. but even that part HURTS ME. im such a freakin complainer but I cant help how i feel. UHHHH.. I LOVE ONE OF MY FRENDS SOO MUCH BUT I ET HURT FROM HIM MORE THAN EVERYBODY ELSE. I CARE FOR HIM LIKE NO OTHER AND YET FROM HIM COMES THE MOST TEARS AND I JUST CANNNNNT DEAL ANYMORE. MY HEART HAS BECOME STONE. TODAY IS A TURNING PART IN MY LIFE.. I AM BECOMING MY WORST NIGHTMARE..A LYING BITCH. oooof im such a complainer but I DONT CARE ANYMORE. u know wat i did today.. i was home got HURT and then ichilled with my frends got a fone call and got even more HURT and then I chilled with some frends some more and got HUR even more and then I went out with some frends and got HURT AGAIN... I tried to hide most of this pain.. some came out but almost 90% was held in.. and now im home and i cant wait to leave tomorrow.. i just cant deal anymore. CANT DEAL. now wat happens?... I need some MENTAL HELP SERIOUSLY.. the worst part si all my frend sare like tigers. they dont TRUELLY like eachother. Michael hates everyone and is ashamed at me when one tear drop comes out.. he tells me never to cry because it makes u lose pride... but all my other frends they tell me o let all of it out and CRY UNTIL THE PAIN IS OUT. I feel like my life is retarded. I TRIED TO HIDE MY LIFE TODAY BUT IT DIDNT WORK IM SORRY.
MAYA S.

To my old best frend:
We went through everyhting together and now that you are gone my heart has stopped beating. I will never forget the love I had for u.. I loved u like a brother and I still do. UHH I WISH I COULD JUST SEE UR FACE AGAIN. ONE HUG. ONE LAST LOOK. THATS ALL I ASK FROM G-D. ONE TEAR DROP. ONE KISS. you'll never be forgotten.. today is 3 years. wow. i love u . 3 years. 3 fucking years.still feels like yesterday.
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[04 Jan 2005|01:27pm]
O.M.G. I can't handle this. Ok.. If you have a boyfriend and you are completely "head over heels" for this otherguy is that cheating? I think it is. If I let go of you,Daniel, I'll always regret it cuzz I'll never know how we oculda ended up but I cant deal with the fact that your older and you go to a different school... I cant deal with the fact that almost all your friends are girls and that when I just right about two other guys in my profile you get so upset. Icnat deal with the fact that you are still firneds with Mihael when you know everything he did to me. I can't deal with that and I'm sorry or being the biggest Bitch to you but I CANT tell you that "I love you" when I dont and I can't kiss you when I feel like Ive done somehting against you.. Overall I'm sorry and I want you to know that Ill always be here for you but right now I cant. I really do love you but not as a boyfrend.. Im osrry it has to end this way and Im gonna call you right now and tel you all of this face to face or phone to phone.. I hope you read this and comment. I will always love you<3
Maya<3
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[01 Jan 2005|08:43pm]

Happy New Year<3

To all my frends who do everything to help me through all the pain and suffering this past year<3 I love u guys so much<3 Especially my MayaTwin AND my Julie my best frend. Thanks for everything you guys.. You are my shining star. I love u guys soo much<3 May all you dreams and wishes come true in this nest year<3

 

Lots of hugs and Kisses,

Maya

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[31 Dec 2004|02:39am]

Uff.. ma zah cohev li ahshav.

Let me tell u a story.

On the first day of school I turned to my right in one of my classes and saw a VERY hawt guy. I automatically liked him cuzz .. duh hes hawt. Then he asked to borrow my pencil so i gave it to him trying to act kool and all. Freakin a. He never gave me that pencil back! Anyways, as the months went by i realized how much i liked him. His hawtness was just to hawt to handle and it turned out that some of the peps in his group are like my frends so i figured YAY. 2 MONTHS went by and i still liked him. The next week i found out he just asked one of my frends out. WONDERFUL. JUST FUCKIN WONDERFUL. So i got over that because me and this kid didnt really talk. So them ONE MONTH AND 2 WEEKS GOES By righhhhhht.. and me ocourse i still like him. So we stat to get closer to talk more and now it has been 4 months and i am completel HEAD OVER HEELS FOR THIS GUY. i talk to him atleast twice a day and we do everything together and we talk about everything. and u know wat i cant deal with it anymore. i just cant. He loves his gf and she loves him and i cant do this. I hate this. I really do. Its been 4 months and until today i havent got my pencil back. J/K. No, I really didnt ever get my penil back but thats not the point.. its the fact that now i look at him and i feel something that i havent felt i atleast 6 months and it hurts so much. It realy does hurt me right now and my best frend Julie is no where to be found.. she is in Big Bear with no reception and im dying inside and i cant tell her. YOOOOOOOOOOOO. OOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. NEEMAS LEE CVAR ME HA HARA HAZEH. ani mamash rotzah otoh.Its ok.. im gonna ignore him after tomorrow. it over. its all over. by the way happy new years.. live life a little. go to a club and have fun. if u r at home for new years im gonna freakin slap u.. u betta be partyin until 8 in the morning. i love my maya<3 more than ull ever know..... my twin is my utterly fabulous partner in whoreness/bitchyness<3

for new years all i want is _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

FIGURE THAT OUT HOES<3 Happy new years<3

[25 Dec 2004|11:30pm]

AHH!! I havent updated in such a long time.. anyways today was ok shacha and tal came over today again.. and it was ok.. kinda boring.. but ok. Anyways, this whole drama thing is really starting to piss me off.. uhh. i wanna just clear this whole thing up.. im sorry to everyone that were affected by what i said. Please dont be mad at me but lately its been annoying me so much that I just dont know what to do anymore.. but its done with. Anyways, bar and I are finally on the SAME page and it finally feels good talking to him. Everything is kool now and everything is good. I cant wait for next week everything is gonna be perfect. First of all, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL Y'ALL and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!ok.. gtg watch a movie<3

MUCHO LOVE,

Mayuchka

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[14 Nov 2004|01:49am]
OMG!!! OMG! OMG! I HAD SUCH A FUCKIN GOOD TIME AT HOMECOMING.. I SWEAR.. ITS A NIGHT ILL NEVER FORGET! OK.. FIRST WE HAD A LIMO PICK UP ERNIE AND TYLER.. THEN IT CAME TO PICK UP THE REST OF US AT TAMMYS HOUSE.. WE WERE 10 PEOPLE! THEN IT TOOK US TO THE MARMALADE CAFE AT THE COMMONS WERE WE HAD A KICK ASS DINNER! AFTER THAT WE HAD THE LIMO TAKE US TO THE DANCE.. WE GOT THERE AT LIKE 8:30.. THEN WE WENT AND GOT OUR COUPLE PICTURES TAKEN.. AFTER THAT WE WENT TO GET OUR GROUP PICTURE AND IM SURE THAT KICKED SOME ASS...THEN WE DANCED ON THE ELEVATED STAGE FOR LIKE AN HOUR STRAIGHT.. NONSTOP.. FREAKIN WITH THE GUYS AND GIRLS.. AND SWEATING LIKE BITCHES! IT WAS AWESOME.. THEN WE WENT AND DANCED ON THE FLOOR AND THAT WAS REALLY FUN TO BUT IT WAS SOOOOOO HAWT THAT WE WERE ALL SWEATING LIKE SOOO MUCH SO WE WENT OUTSIDE TO BREATHE A LITTLE.. WE CHILLED A LITTLE AND I SAW MY HOMEGIRLS/BOYS( MAYA, ROCHELLE, TALIA, BRITANNY, AND I EVEN SAW DANIEL, RODD, AND STEVEN).IT WAS KINDA AWKWARD SEEING STEVEN AGAIN BUT I HOPE ITS JUST KOOL AGAIN.. ANYWAYS AFTER THAT WE DANCED INSIDE A LITTLE MORE AND WE DECIDED TO LEAVE AT LIKE 11... AT 11 WE LEFT AND TOOK THE LIMO TO JERRYS DELI FOR DESSERT.. ONLY JERRYS DELI DIDNT ACCEPT MY RESERVATION ANYMORE SO WE JUMPED IN THE LIMO AND RACED TO THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY BEFORE IT CLOSED.. WE WERE SO PRESSED FOR TIME CUZZ IT WAS ALREADY 12 SO WE LIKE SWALLOWED DOWN OUR DESSERTS AND LEFT.. AFTER THAT WE TOOK TYLER AND ERNIE TO ERNIES HOUSE AND AT 12:30 DROPPED JILLIAN OFF AT HER HOUSE.. THEN WE TOOK JULIE HOME AT LIKE 12:40 AND GOT TO TAMMYS AT LIKE 10 MINUTES TO ONE.. WE CHILLED THERE FOR LIKE 20 INUTES... AND MY DAD PICKED ME AND MY DATE ( ANDREW) UP AND DROPPED ANDREW OFF AT SCOTTS.. THEN I GOT HOME AT LKE 1:30 AND ALLS WELL ENDED WELL.. WHAT CAN I SAY.. I HAD SUCH A GOOOD TIME AND IM SO HAPPY THAT ALL OF U CAME WITH ME! THE STRESS AND HARDWORK AND 2 DAYS OF NO SLEEP DEFINETLY PAID OFF ... I LOVE U GUYS ALL SO MUCH AND THANKS FOR MAKIN THIS THE MOST MEMORABLE TIME OF MY 9TH RADE YEAR.. U GUYS ARE AWESOME!

<3 MAYA

P.S. SPECIAL THANK TO THE FOLLOWING HOMIES THAT HELPED ME PIMP EL CO'S HOMECOMING:
*KAITLIN,*JULIE,*TAMMY, *JILLIAN, *ANDREW(MY DATE),*TYLER, *ERNIE, *HARRISON, AND OFCOURSE.. *SEAN!! THANKS YOU GUYS I <3 U ALL.. THAT WAS AN AMAZING NIGHT!
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[05 Nov 2004|08:20pm]
I JUST FIGURED OUT WHO MY TRUE FRENDS ARE... I LOOOVE MR.XHOTTAY. HE IS SO HAWT. I LOVE MR.XHEBREWWHIGHHOTTEY HE IS SOOOOOO EXTREMELY PRETTY. I TALKED TO HIM ON 10/28/04<33. IM SO HAPPY<33
<3 MAYA
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[29 Oct 2004|08:19pm]
omg.. today started as a pretty good day and then after school it got even better.. i got my nails done with shaun and had such a good time with that gal pal of mine.. but then the worst thing happened... i came home..

i came home and i got some of the worst news ever.. my moms cousin was killed in israel.. i am so hurt right now i just dont wanna talk to anybody. it stings so bad and i feel bad for my family in israel. wth did they do to deserve this.. the next time u wanna pick a fight with me u better watch what hits u in the eye or worse.. i swear to g-d. neevr talk to me about that topic again.. u see how it affects my family.. dont tell me it affects ur family cuzz it doesnt. uhh u are the biggest FAGGOT in the world. DONT EVER BLAME ME AGAIN EVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVER. I HATE U. I SWEAR I HATE U.

u wanna read about it:

http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/494955.html
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[15 Oct 2004|03:54pm]
OMG! AWESOME DAY TODAY! JUST AWESOME!! ME, JULIE, KAITLIN, AND KRISTA ARE MEETING UP AT THE MALL IN ABOUT 30 MIN!! TODAY IS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER. JUST WANTED TO THANK ALL OF U GUYS WHO MADE MY DAY IN HISTORY.. KAITLIN, HARRY, ERICA, ALEXA, AND OFCOURSE ASAFOCH~~!!! THANKS U GUYS! U ROXERS MY BOXERS!!!
MUCHO LOVE YO<3
MAYA
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[14 Oct 2004|08:27pm]

How Good are you at Certain Things?
Name
Age
Favorite Color
Nickname
Sex - 48%
Romance - 32%
Self - Control - 32%
Kissing - 92%
Cuddling - 68%
Kinkiness - 12%
This QuickKwiz by KillianO - Taken 165550 Times.
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New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology

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[13 Oct 2004|06:36pm]
LISTEN PEEPS!! COMMENT. one word....

COMMENT!!

COMMENT Y'ALL!
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[09 Oct 2004|11:30am]
Hey!! This is my new lj! Delete the other one! Thanks Krista and Kaitlen for makin this lj for me!!<3 kisses<3
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